hopelessromantic88

Another day gone and not a whisper. Like a ghost in the night haunting me, I can feel you over my shoulder. My stomach drops the air gets cold. I look quick thinking I can see you for just a moment. My heart starts to race at the thought of see you and having you here. As quickly as it came now it's gone, for now. Soon again something reminds me of you again, my phone goes off and I get that rush, again and again. When will it end, how will I know? I miss you so and the feeling I have with you in my arms. The morning will come and it will be just as silent as the night. Hearing the birds in the morning hoping to hear the ding of my phone. Hop

 Sweet Dreams  There comes a point when all you can do is laugh, not because it has become funny but because you can no longer cry. For what is done is done and nothing can change that. you lose your enegery to punch that wall and your voice can no longer scream. So all you can do is just fall to your knees and laugh, laugh a dry almost forced laugh. the pain still hurts and nothing can make it leave for it is so deep that not even the strongest medicain can make numb it enough to bare. No matter how hard you pray the pain just wont go away. my mind is numb, my lips chapped, and all I can hear is the throbbing of the pain running thru my bo

 I don't run from the mirror as I did before. I find myself stopping for just a moment to look, look and see how my body is changing. I feel like the real me is finely starting to show. my curves are gone and there muscle and hair where there was none just a year ago. its still hard to see things that I know won't go away without surgery. but knowing that thats only a little while and a bit of planing away makes it that much easier to imagin what I have always seen in my dreams come true. How does one understand what it is like to walk in what feels to be someone elses skin and not be ashamed? How is it possable to have a relationship, frie

I hoped that one day I could be truly happy but now all I see is nothing. No light at the end, not even a glimmer. How I hoped for the best but only got the worst. Will I ever get a break, Just one chance to catch my breath in this never ending race called life, A puzzle I have yet to figure out. If all these things are just little pieces then what is the big picture? Regret or Relief? Joy or sadness? Is it really up to me or is it all planed out already?

When I sleep your right next to me, I can feel your touch and smell your perfume again. I have the butterflies and there is no fighting and no yelling. Its like ive gone back in time to when you were mine and it was just me and you. my arms around you and yours around me, tangled in eachothers skin just waiting for the sun to rise while looking in your beautiful brown eyes. how I wish this would never end how I prayed I could live like this forever. But then the alarm goes off and I awake from my dream to find the cold empty pillow that your head once occupied. My mistakes will never let me live down the girl I let go case I thought she was b

The stinging joy, the feel of metal in my skin. The color red rushes down my arm The pain helps me forget the pain in my heart. Another scar to add to the collection. It gets deeper and deeper every time. My body numb, my mind cleared, I’ve had my fix for now. An addiction I can’t stop, that I don’t want to stop. My goal is not death, just control. Time for another fix, my leg this time. Scars on top of scars of memories, Of battles I have won. They think it’s bad, they think its wrong. I don’t see how it puts a smile on my face, Until I need another fix. Then the tears come, my body breaks down. My lit

The full moon is out and the stars are shining brightly tonight. The light off the lake is shining off you like light off a diamond stone. The world has come to a stop and it’s just me and you in this world when our lips touch. My heart starts beating faster, my palms start to sweat, The feel of your touch makes my hair stand on end. I hold you tighter, having you in my arms feels so right. Amazing in my eyes and perfect for me. “How did I get so lucky?” Is all that runs through my mind. Soft lips and gentle brown eyes, Loving heart and caring touch. I fall asleep to the smell of your beautiful skin, As we cuddle clos

I was meant to walk this world alone with no one by my side. With only my friends there to have my back, But no one there to kiss goodnight. Only the sound of the rain falling against my window to put me to sleep. And only a pillow to curl up with on those cold nights. I am a loner, the quiet nights at my house will hunt me forever. I turn the TV and radio off. Sometimes I think I am deaf. Only my friends are there, but I want, I need more. My heart always longing for a love I will never find. I am the odd one out. I was forgotten when they pared everyone up. My bed is too big for just me to sleep in. Where is my soul mate? Do I

So scared to let you know what’s on my mind, afraid to tell you my feeling. Will you run away? Will you laugh at me? So many things to say, but to scared to let you know how much you mean to me. Worried that you will never talk to me again. All these things going through my mind, all these things I want to say, but when you come around they get caught in my throat. Why is it so hard to let you know, that I’m the person that thinks of you every night. I know you don’t feel the same way about me; could that be why I’m scared? To scared to hear your answer?

My past is stained with broken hearts. Words that should have never been said, And actions that should have never happened. It runs through my memory like a bad movie. Hurting the ones I care most about, and losing my soul. How did this happen? Why me? So many things I wish I could erase. Nothing I can do but watch my life burn down. Hoping that once it burns it will come back fresh, Like nothing ever happened. Spinning in circles the world seems so big. Will I ever see it all? Or will I drift into the wind. So many things to worry about yet so few things to make me smile. My true form can not be seen and I will not allow it.