Ever since ive moved up here, theres been nothing but drama left and right. friends pulling me apart for one reason or another, and just hell all together. for those who dont know me, i was raised in Aurora Colorado which isn't the best place to grow up and a lot of my time in commerce city which isn't all that good either. i went thru hell down there but with my juggalo family by my side i survived a lot and i also went thru a lot, it changed me. i was no longer scared of anything. and i thought i had seen and een thru it all. hell i went to school in 5-points denver which is the worest place in colorado for a white girl to be lol but with help from a very good friend i got thru that as well. the more i look back at my past i see a lot falts and failers. but thru it all i became a very strong person in the end of it. and about this time last year it just seemed like everything i ever did bad and everyone i hurt came to bite me in the ass its name.....karma... yea and that caused me and my dad to move up here westminster/broomfiled which is exactly the oppicet of aurora. theres no gun shots theres no drive bys but 90% not everyone but most everyone up here is rich, beautiful,and thinks there better than everyone else. and my dad said it would be better and that everything would work out when in realty everything has just been getting worse. i miss my old life i miss all my firneds and juggalo family down there i miss everything. i have a few really good friends up here that arn't fakes they dont think there better or worse than everyone else there just really kool and chill people and it makes living up here a lil easier. sometimes i think that the surberbs are worse than the gettho. over the past few weeks i have come to relize that i am a very unhappy person, i dont get close enough to people for them to know the true me they only see me the parts of me that i want them to see and that im not ashamed of. and i even did that back down in aurora. i know sad. not even my parents or brother know the real me anymore. but i also carry a lot of regret on my shoulders that i know i shouldn't. and with all of this i will not be able to find true love untill i learn to overcome these fears and regrets. everything that was really good and the things that made me the happiest ive either distroyed or ran away from. and i did it everytime without even knowing i was doing it. but now that i have relized these things i cant start to work on them. and i do know that i can be shelfish more than i would like to admit and that i believe is where my jelousy comes from therefor i can can work on that as well. i wont lie tho i hate growing up cause the older i get the more i figure myself out and the more i find flaws but i also find stranght that i didn't know where there and the more i see that good hearted person my parents always said i was. well gtg bye